Watching this video should remind the viewer of one rule among grown men: REAL MEN DON’T CRY ABOUT GOLF. It’s especially important to remember not to cry on cable television, presumably in front of millions of viewers.

As you watch this pathetic white man babble, I want to always remember a horrifying reality:

Tiger Woods’ phony public image has been destroyed by the pillow-biting, down-in-the-gutter, lowest-of-low hookers he chased after with a fist fulla cash.

Don’t cry Mr. Golf Channel man…Tiger got exactly what he paid for.